Intro: -nc- Hey baby, uh, it's me -nc- Um, our anniversary's comin' up, it's a pretty big one -nc- Em Gbm And, um, I wrote a song for you Bm Bm Bm Em Fm# Bm Bm Bm So I'm just leaving you this voicemail because, um, I want the song to begin with this voicemail Em Gbm Like, I want the voicemail to play at the beginning of it Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm So, if you could just download this voicemail when you get it and then text it to me Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm Um, you might need to, like, download another app to download the— Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm I don't know if you can rip your voicemail right off your phone, you might need to, like— Bm Bm Bm Just Google it, don't call me and ask me Em Gbm 'Cause I know, I know what you're gonna do Bm Bm Bm You're gonna, you're gonna get this and you're gonna think you just can't do it Em Gbm And you're gonna call me, but then I'm just gonna Google it Bm Bm Bm So, just you Google it, you're an adult, you can figure it out Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm Um, so just, figure it out and text me the voicemail Em Gbm Um, immediately, if you wouldn't mind, like, right when you get this Bm Bm Bm Thank you, um, I love you, bye Verse 1: Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm You're my best friend, I love you Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm You know me and I know you Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm We got problems that we've been through Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm We got xxxx that we'll get through, uh Em Gbm You think I'm rude to you Bm Bm Bm You think I am the worst Em Gbm Because I ask when you suck my xxxx Bm Bm Bm To take out your Invisalign first Chorus: Em Gbm Come on, five years, five years Bm Bm Bm Still you, still me, still here Em Gbm Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm Bm Five years, five years Verse 2: -nc- Bm Bm We order Chinese, I'm eating my dumplings Bm Em You reach over and you take my dumpling Gbm Bm Bm You don't even say, "Do you mind?" or nothing Bm Em Why would you assume that you're entitled to a dumpling? Gbm Bm Bm Bm So I look at you, you look back at me, like, "What the xxxx did I do?" Em Gbm If you really wanted some dim sum then Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm You really should've gotten some when we put in the order Bm Bm Bm You say, "You're a psycho and I- I don't wanna fight Em Gbm Bm Bm So, let's just drop this, it's not a big deal" Bm Okay, but for the record Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm You owe me a dumpling, I mean it, I won't forget Bm You owe me a dumpling or a dumpling equivalent Chorus: Em Gbm Five years, five years Bm Bm Bm Still you, still me, still here Em Gbm Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm Bm Five years, five years Verse 3: Em Gbm We found a spider in the house Bm Bm Bm You freaked and you jumped up onto the couch Em Gbm Since I was close and able Bm Bm Bm I jumped up on the coffee table Em Gbm You said, "You should kill that" Bm Bm Bm I said, "Um, no, xxxx that" Em Gbm Bm Bm You said, "Come on, be a man" -nc- What? Em Gbm Bm Bm Bm You're a total anti-xxxist, a patriarchy fighter Em Gbm But your whole world view collapses Bm Bm Bm The moment there's a spider, cool Em Gbm I get it, this is the real you Bm Bm Bm It's a pleasure, nice to meet you Em Gbm xxxx like this brings the movement down Bm Bm Bm Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around Chorus: Em Gbm Five years, five years Bm Bm Bm Still you, still me, still here Em Gbm Five years, five years, baby Bm Bm Bm Five years, five years Outro: Em Gbm Bm Bm How come every time I need to take a poo in the bathroom Bm Em You out of the blue need to use the bathroom? Gbm Just use the guest room bathroom Bm Bm Bm That's why we got two bathrooms Em Gbm Just use the guest room bathroom Bm Bm Bm Em Gbm That's why we got two bathrooms Bm Bm Bm And you know
