Intro:
   C B Bb Am
   F Dbmaj7 (x2)

Verse 1:
C               Am
All alone in my bedroom,
          Dm                        G
With the lights turned down and my roommate gone.
C           Am           Dm    G
I know it's over still I cling on.
F                E
Cause I'm my own right-hand girl,
C                Dm
And I don't need anyone,
   F                             G
But sometimes I miss your stupid face, and your taste,

And your smoking gun.

Chorus:
F          G               C          Em    Am
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes.
Dm          G               C      Em        Am
Are so much wetter than the space between my thighs.
           Dm              G                 C    Em       Am
Oh, oh, oh I can't help if thinking about it only makes me cry.
            F                          G    (nc)      C B Bb Am  F Dbmaj7
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet, 'til I run dry-y-y-y.

Instrumental:
   C B Bb Am
   F Dbmaj7

Verse 2:
C                Am                  Dm            G
It's nights like this that remind me of my deepest fantasy.
C               Am                 Dm                  G
Where I'm all alone and I feel the cold, dark earth caressing me.
F                   E            C                 Dm
'Cause I'm six feet under nearly, and I don't have anyone,
    F
But this wouldn't be the first or last time that,
G
Both my tears and I have come.

Chorus:
F          G               C          Em    Am
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes.
Dm          G               C      Em        Am
Are so much wetter than the space between my thighs.
           Dm              G                 C    Em        Am
Oh, oh, oh I can't help if thinking about it only makes me cry.
            F                         G     (nc)      C B Bb Am  F Dbmaj7
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet, 'til I run dry-y-y-y.

Instrumental:
   C B Bb Am
   F Dbmaj7

Bridge:
Am            E                     Am
My blood runs cold, my thoughts are plasmic,
        Dm
I'm not letting go.
Am          E           Am
And letting go could be orgasmic,
      Dm               F     G
But I guess I wouldn't know.

(nc)
(Assorted carnal exclamations of thirst for Austin Corona)

Chorus:
F          G               C          Em    Am
It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes.
Dm          G               C      Em        Am
Are so much wetter than the space between my thighs.
           Dm              G                 C    Em       Am
Oh, oh, oh I can't help if thinking about it only makes me cry.
            F                         G     (nc)      C B Bb Am  F Dbmaj7
It keeps me wet, you know you keep me wet, 'til I run dry-y-y-y.

Outro:
   C B Bb Am
   F Dbmaj7 C