Ram:
                 A
Heyyyyy, 'Ronica.
 
Veronica
   Db          D
Ugh. You got a left hand? Use it.
 
Kurt:
E                 A
Don't talk mean like that.
 
Ram:
       Db         D       E
You'll hurt their feelings.
A           Db       D
You make my balls so blue.
 
Kurt:
    E
You hurt them badly.
 
Ram:
A           Db       D
You make my balls so blue.
 
Kurt:
        E
They're hangin' sadly.
 
Ram:
A             Db    D
What did they do to you
Gbm                Bm
that you hate them so?
 
Kurt:
Don't run from me --
        E
They're all beat up
 
Kurt & Ram:
like a tackling dummy!
 
Kurt:
A             Db      D
They long for your embrace!
 
Ram:
        E
They're warm like mittens!
 
Kurt:
A               Db       D
They'll curl up on your face
 
Ram:
    E
and purr like kittens!
 
Kurt:
A           Db       Gbm
You make my balls so blue!
 
Kurt & Ram:
                  Bm
Just look at them glow...
 
Ram:
              E
We're beggin' you!
 
Kurt & Ram:
                       A
Don't make my balls so blue.
 
Veronica
            Db           D
Heather...? Heather...? Open the door.
 
heathers: Duke & McNamara
   E                 A
Oh no, oh no no no!
 
Veronica
Db          D
Open the door!
 
heathers: Duke & McNamara
   E
Oh no, oh no no no!
 
Kurt:
A           Db       Gbm
You make my balls so blue,
so please say hello!
 
Ram:
Bm
Hold 'em!
 
Kurt:
Enfold 'em,
 
Kurt & Ram:
    E
and never let go!
 
Kurt:
              D
Once you were geeky and nerdy,
 
Ram:
    B
but they knew you're dirty.
 
Kurt:
       A
You've set them on fire,
 
Kurt & Ram:
    Gbm                      Bm
Whatever you require they'll do!
   E                F
So take 'em home to meet your parents!
 
Ram:
Bb             D        Eb
They'll wear a suit and tie,
 
Kurt:
      F
and a fancy collar!
 
Ram:
Bb             D    Eb
They'll sing a lullaby:
 
Kurt & Ram:
   F
La la la la la!
 Bb               D         Gm
Please make these balls not blue,
 
Ram:
Just for a while!
 
Kurt:
Cm
Can't wait till later,
 
Kurt & Ram:
   F
my pants are rubbin'
like a hot cheese grater!
 
(Veronica offers a bottle to Ram:)
 
Veronica
Eb    Em
Look. Booze. Drink!
 
Kurt:
    F            G
Aw, thank you so much!
 
Veronica
You're welcome.
 
(Kurt & Ram::chug from the bottle)
 
Ram:
             Eb
They will protect you.
 
Kurt:
   Em
Defend you.
 
Ram:
F
Respect you.
 
Kurt:
Gm
Befriend you --
 
Ram:
     Cm
Like Winnie-the-Pooh!
 
Kurt:
Gb
Baby baby baby they're so blue!
 
Ram:
B             Eb       E
My balls will work for you.
 
Kurt:
     Gb
They will obey ya!
 
Ram:
B           Eb      E
They really need rescue!
 
Kurt:
     F
Like Princess Leia!
 
Kurt & Ram:
B         Eb           Abm
Baby, you gots to come through.
 
Kurt:
               Dbm
Teach them to smile!
 
Ram:, heathers:
You got no clue
How much these two
Depend on you --
                 Gb
Please help them through!
 
Kurt & Ram:
Gb                   Db
My balls are in your court!
 
Kurt & Ram:
    F  Gb
Yeahhhhh!
 
Kurt & Ram:
    Ab
You make my balls so blue!
 
Kurt & Ram:
F   Gb
Ow! Ow!
 
Kurt & Ram:
    Ab
You make my balls so blue!
 
Kurt & Ram:
     F
Good God!
 
Kurt & Ram:
   Gb
My balls!
    Ab                Db
You make my balls so blue!
 
Kurt & Ram:
      F
Lookit! Lookit!
        Gb
Lookit! Lookit!
 
Kurt & Ram:
    Ab
You make my balls so blue!
Db                            Gb
Please make their dreams come true,
    B          A     Abm Db
and make these balls not blue!