Intro:
Cmaj7
xxxting -Whoa-
Gmaj7
 It isn't xxx it's the next best thing
Cmaj7
xxxting
Gmaj7
 Aye, aye, at&t

Verse 1:
Cmaj7
 I am in bed I am ready to go with you
Gmaj7
 Tonight I'm thinking of taking it slow
         Cmaj7                                  Gmaj7
We'll use emojis only, we don't need phonetical diction
                                     Cmaj7
We'll talk dirty like we're ancient Egyptians

Verse 2:
                              Gmaj7
You send me a peach, I send a carrot back
                                       Cmaj7
You send a Ferris wheel, that's pretty abstract
                                                   Gmaj7
I send back a ticket stubtickets implying that the Ferris wheel's your body
                                   Cmaj7
And I'd really love admission to it
                                        Gmaj7
Oh no! What if now you think that I'm implying your vagina is as big as a Ferris wheel?
Cmaj7
 You send back a snowman
Gmaj7
 Crisis averted -Thank God-

Chorus:
Cmaj7
xxxting -Whoa-
Gmaj7
 It isn't xxx it's the next best thing -Next best thing-
Cmaj7
xxxting
Gmaj7
 Aye, aye, at&t

Verse 3:
Cmaj7
 No more emojis, now it's on to words
Gmaj7
I ask what you're wearing. You reply, "A shirt"
Cmaj7
You say, "Are you naked?"
                           Gmaj7
I say, "Yeah, except for a top hat", you say, "lmao" but I doubt that
Cmaj7
 I'm getting hot at just the thought of what I'd do to you
Gmaj7
 Cause in my head I'm in your bed and getting through to you
Cmaj7
 They made the internet for nights like these
Gmaj7
 I love you, baby, send a picture of your tits, please

Chorus:
Cmaj7
xxxting -Whoa-
Gmaj7
 It isn't xxx is the next best thing -Next best thing-
Cmaj7
xxxting
Gmaj7
We are xxxting -Aye, aye, at&t-

Verse 4:
Cmaj7
 You send the pic and say it's now my turn
Gmaj7
Jesus xxxxing Christ I guess I never learn
Cmaj7
 My phone's flash is my only light and
Gmaj7
 The flash makes my xxxx look frightened
Cmaj7
 I chicken out and send a picture of my face instead
Gmaj7
 Because my xxxx looks like the baby from Eraserhead
Cmaj7
 You say, "I sent my titties that's not fair"
Gmaj7
 So I send it to you and then my phone dies

Outro:
Gmaj7                    Bm7
Another night on my own, yeah
                  Em7
Stuck in my home, yeah
                                                             Gmaj7
Sitting alone, one hand on my xxxx and one hand on my phone, yeah
                         Bm7
Another night on my own, yeah
                  Em7
Stuck in my home, yeah
                                                             Gmaj7
Sitting alone, one hand on my xxxx and one hand on my phone, yeah
                         Bm7
Another night on my own, yeah
                  Em7
Stuck in my home, yeah
                                                             Gmaj7
Sitting alone, one hand on my xxxx and one hand on my phone, yeah -Pussy-
                         Bm7
Another night on my own, yeah -Titties-
                  Em7
Stuck in my home, yeah -Balls-
                                                             -nc-
Sitting alone, one hand on my xxxx and one hand on my phone, yeah