Verse:
-betelgeuse-
                F
You could use a buddy--
                 Bb
Don't you want a pal?
-Yes I do! Yes I do!-
                Gm
Girl, the way I see it
                     C
Your daddy should be leavin'
                     F
and you should stick around!
-nc-
-and kill him!-
 

-lydia-
-nc-
What?
 
Pre-Chorus:
-betelgeuse-
-nc-
Nothing
    C            Bb
So, lydia, don't end yourself
  Bbm
Defend yourself
F                           Ab
Daddy is the one you should maim
               F            Bbm
Together we'll exterminate, assassinate
 

-lydia-
-nc-
No!
 
Chorus:
-betelgeuse-
-nc-
The finer points can wait
    Gb                    F
But first you gotta say my name!
             Bbm
Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him
               Gb
Here you got a solid plan b option
                 Db
I can bring your daddy so much pain
              Ab
All you gotta do is say my name!
                  Bbm
Girl, just say it three times in a row
               Gb
Then you won't believe how far I'll go
           Ebm
I'm on the bench, but coach
                   Bb7
Just put me in the game
                           Bbm
All you gotta do is say my name
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
I don't know your name
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Well, I can't say it
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
How 'bout a game of charades?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes, let's play it
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Two words
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Right
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Second word
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Uh-huh
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Drink?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
No
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Beverage?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
No
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Wine?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
No
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Juice?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes!
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Okay
-nc-
First word
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Okay
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Bug?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
No
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Ant?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Close, but no
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Beetle?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes!
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
betelgeuse?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Wow, I'm impressed
-nc-
and all you gotta do is say my name three times
-nc-
Three times in a row it must be spoken
-nc-
Unbroken
-nc-
Ready?
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Yeah
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Okay, go...
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
betelgeuse...
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
betelgeuse...
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Beeeeeeeeeeeeee....
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good-
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
-cause
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
What?
 
Verse:
-lydia-
Eb
You're so smart

a stand up bro
     Ab
I'll think G#out your offer

Let you know
      Cm
But I prefer my chances down below

Oh, betelgeuse
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes!
 
-lydia-
-nc-
betelgeuse
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Yes!
 
Verse:
-lydia-
                               Eb
Being young and female doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark
          Ab
I've been swimming with piranhas

I don't need a shark
Cm
Yes, life sucks

But not that much

Ok, betelgeuse

betelgeuse
Eb                      Ab
Be a doll and spare the lecture


Bridge:
-betelgeuse-
                             Bb
I'm offering you a full-time spectre
 
-lydia-
Bb
Are you any good?
 
-betelgeuse-
    Ab
You bet'cha

Trust me, bG#y!
 
-lydia-
       Eb
I just met ya
                          Gm Cm
Really it's a flattering offer
 
-betelgeuse-
                        Bb7
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
 
-lydia-
        Eb         Eb        Bb
I think I'd rather just jump off
 
-betelgeuse-
-nc-
No!
 
-lydia-
         Bb
I may be suicidal
    Bb                              Ab     Bb7
But betelgeuse, it's not as if I've lost my mind
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
So
Playing hardball, huh?

You are tougher than you look
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with
-nc-
Got any references?
 
barbara, spoken:
-nc-
lydia, there you are!
 
adam, spoken:
-nc-
Are you alright?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
A-Dog, B-Town, my old pals!
 
adam, spoken:
-nc-
Get away from her!
-nc-
lydia, this is a dangerously unstG#le individual
 
betelgeuse POSESSES barbara and adam:
 
barbara:
-nc-
betelgeuse is xxxx!
 
adam:
-nc-
betelgeuse is smart!
 
-barbara & adam-
bj is a graduate of Juilliard!
G
He can help

We found him on Yelp
    D
Our troubles all landed on the day that we befriended him
Gb
Every word is the truth
G          A           D
betelgeuse, betelgeuse, betelgeuse!
 
barbara, spoken:
-nc-
What the heck was that?
 
adam, spoken:
-nc-
So violating!
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
There you go, kid. Couple of five-star reviews
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
What was that?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
That was possession
-nc-
Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Any ghost?
 
betelgeuse, spoken:
-nc-
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
Then, betelgeuse, what do I need you for?
 
-betelgeuse-
-nc-
Woah, woah, woah woah woah!
                        G
Hold up- hold up, girl, I'm your pal
        D
They're sweet, but I'm a demon straight from Hell
  C
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
          Cm
But we're BF-F-F-F's forever!
 
betelgeuse gets pushed off the roof of the house by -lydia-
-nc-
Agh!
 
adam and barbara, spoken:
lydia!
 
lydia, spoken:
-nc-
What? He was already dead
-nc-
and you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff
 
Chorus:
sung:
C
We don't need that demon
C
The three of us alone can wreck dad's evening
G
Together we can make a grown man weep
D
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
 
adam, spoken:
-nc-
Okay, so what's the plan?
 
lydia -WITH adam & barbara-:
C
Teach dad a lesson
C
He's gonna freak when we possess him
C
So he wants the perfect daughter
Cm
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Cm
Yeah, I got game!
Em
I'm gonna make him say my name

-Make him say your name-
Em
I'll make him say my name

-Make him say your name-
C
I'll make him say my name

-Make him say your name-
Cm
Not running away!
Em
I'll make him say my name!