Intro:
   Gm Gbaug Bb7 Ebmaj7 Gm Gbaug
   Bb7  
   Ebmaj7
 
Verse 1:
              Gm      Gbaug
And there's a centipede
Bb7              Ebmaj7
Naked in your bedroom
            Gm         Gbaug
Oh, and you swear to God
    Bb7                Ebmaj7
The xxxxxx's out to get    you
           F6     
And I digress     
 
Chorus:
                                   Ebmaj7
'Cause I must make you the perfect morning
           F6     
I try my best     
                               Ebmaj7
To scoop the slugger out the window
 
Post-chorus:
Ebmaj7 F6              Gm     Gbaug
        And there's a praying mantis
 
Verse 2:
Bb7                   Ebmaj7
Prancing on your bathtub  
        Gm                Gbaug
And you swear it's a priest
         Bb7                Ebmaj7
From a past  life out to getcha
           F6     
And I digress     
 
Chorus:
                                   Ebmaj7
'Cause I must make you the perfect evening
           F6     
I try my best     
                             Ebmaj7
To put the priest inside a jam    jar
 
Post-chorus:
Ebmaj7 F6 Ebmaj7 F6                Gm      Gbaug
                  And there's a millipede
 
Verse 3:
Bb7              Ebmaj7
Angry on your carpet
          Gm    Gbaug
Oh, and I must admit 
     Bb7                Ebmaj7
He's staring with a vengeance
             F6     
Oh, and I digress   
 
Chorus:
                                   Ebmaj7
'Cause I must make you the perfect morning
            F6     
And I try my best
                                 Ebmaj7
To prove that nothing's out to get    you
 
Outro:
Ebmaj7 F6                                 Ebmaj7    F6 Ebmaj7
        To prove that nothing's out to get    you.