Intro: A E B E
 
LUKE:
         A           E          B              E
Come on, grab some ambrosia and let the nectar flow
A               E                      B                    E
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
             A                E
Is the food really that bad?
 

LUKE:
                    B
Offering to the gods
       E                        A           E             B
It's not enough that they're omnipotent and all-powerful
                    E            A
They need to feel appreciated
  E         B
To the Gods!
 

ALL:
 E
To the Gods!
 
Chorus:
A    E     B           E
Oh, things couldn't be worse
          A       E      B   E
When your parents run the uniVerse
A     E    B           Dbm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
A         E            B   E
When your folks run the uniVerse
 

LUKE:
A         E
My dad is Hermes
   B          E
He messengers things
A               E           B                E
You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
    A           E             B           Dbm
I'd wait by the phone but the phone never rings
  Gb
Oh no
     A            E    Ab          Dbm
When your dad's a god, life can be tough
  A           (nc)     B         E
I met the guy once and once was enough
 

LUKE:
E
(Spoken) Annabeth?
 

ANNABETH:
   G      D
My mom's Athena
      A               D
She’s smart and she’s wise
G               D          A               D
She’s sworn off gluten and she’s sworn off guys
       G           D          A       Bm
But if she came to camp, it’d be a surprise
   E
Oh no...
 

ALL:
   E
Oh no...
 

ANNABETH:
           G             D                Gb            Bm
Oh, and my step-mom, she hates me, and my dad works all day
 
   G         (nc)      A      D
So I left Virginia and I ran away
 

PERCY:
D
Wait, is that true?
 

LUKE:
D
Everybody!
 
Chorus:
G   D      A           D
Oh, things couldn't be worse
          G       D      A   D
When your parents run the uniVerse
G   D      A           Bm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
G         D            A   D
When your folks run the uniVerse
 
 
LUKE:
D
(Spoken) Alright, who’s next?
 

KATIE:
D
Oh! Okay, let me see…
 

KATIE:
G          D
My mom’s Demeter
A          D
Goddess of grain
G          D          A            D
She gets excited when it starts to rain
    G            D            A            Bm
But planting and planting and planting’s a pain
   E
Oh no...
 

ALL:
   E
Oh no...
           G               D            Gb            Bm
Right! For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car
G        nc          A          D
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar
 

GROVER:
                    E
(Spoken) Bahahahaha! Ooh, ooh! My turn!
A              E
I’m a child of Pan
    B          E
The god of the wild
    A              E               B       E
For those who love nature, they’re often beguiled
         A         E            B           Dbm
He’s not really my dad, but I’m sort of his child
   Gb
Oh no...
 

ALL:
   Gb
Oh no...
   A          E         Ab            Dbm
He went for a hike to explore new frontiers
    A          E            B            E
And no one has seen him for thousands of years
 
Chorus:
A    E     B           E
Oh, things couldn't be worse
          A       E      B   E
When your parents run the uniVerse
A     E    B           Dbm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
A         E            B   E
When your folks run the uniVerse
 

PERCY:
E
(Spoken) Chiron! Who’s your dad?
 

CHIRON:
(nc)
(Spoken)Oh, well…
   A         E 
My father is Kronos
  A         E 
Remember my lecture?
B          E 
He ate his children.
 

LUKE:
(nc)                                        E
(Spoken) Chiron wins… How about you, Silena?
 

SILENA:
    A          E
The goddess of love
   B          E
My mom’s Aphrodite
    A           E         B            E
She tries to be cool, but mainly she’s flighty
     A            E              B            Dbm
I’ll bring home a boy, and she’s there in her nightie
 

ALL:
   Gb
Oh no!!!
 

SILENA:
Gb
(Spoken) It's so embarrassing guys!
  A             E         Ab       Dbm
I tried to seek help from even the Fates
           A            (nc)     B         E
‘Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates
 
 
LUKE:
F
(Spoken) Alright, Percy, it’s your turn
 

PERCY:
(nc)
If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche...
 

LUKE:
(nc)
We’re all friends here. Come on, give it a shot.
 

PERCY:
(nc)
Okay. Um…
 
PERCY:
   Bb            F 
My mom was named Sally
    C           F 
She loved scary movies
    Bb            F 
And food that was blue and…
 

KATIE:
(nc)
(Spoken) He’s doing it wrong
 

SILENA:
(nc)
Yeah, who’s your godly parent?
 

PERCY:
(nc)
Oh, I don’t know
 

LUKE:
(nc)
It’s alright. A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent. Just give it a try.
 

PERCY:
       Bb          F 
So, my dad is some god
C               F 
That’s great, I guess
Bb         F           C            F 
Did he not want me, or not want the stress?
    Bb           F            C         Dm 
Too bad he’s the worst and my life is a mess!
G
Oh no...
  Bb           F     A      Dm
I hope that he shows even a trace
            Bb              (nc)     C            F
‘Cause I’ve got some choice words to throw in his face!
 
Chorus:
Bb  F      C           F
Oh, things couldn't be worse
          Bb      F      C   F
When your parents run the uniVerse
Bb  F      C           Dm
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
 

LUKE:
F                          Bb
But I don't care where our parents may be
   C               Dm
As long as you are here with me
 

ALL:
F                       Bb
We don't care where our parents may be
   C               Dm
As long as you are here with me
   F       Bb      C         F 
As long as you are here with me!