Intro: A E B E LUKE: A E B E Come on, grab some ambrosia and let the nectar flow A E B E Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire? A E Is the food really that bad? LUKE: B Offering to the gods E A E B It's not enough that they're omnipotent and all-powerful E A They need to feel appreciated E B To the Gods! ALL: E To the Gods! Chorus: A E B E Oh, things couldn't be worse A E B E When your parents run the uniVerse A E B Dbm Oh, things couldn’t be worse A E B E When your folks run the uniVerse LUKE: A E My dad is Hermes B E He messengers things A E B E You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings A E B Dbm I'd wait by the phone but the phone never rings Gb Oh no A E Ab Dbm When your dad's a god, life can be tough A -nc- B E I met the guy once and once was enough LUKE: E -Spoken- Annabeth? ANNABETH: G D My mom's Athena A D She’s smart and she’s wise G D A D She’s sworn off gluten and she’s sworn off guys G D A Bm But if she came to camp, it’d be a surprise E Oh no... ALL: E Oh no... ANNABETH: G D Gb Bm Oh, and my step-mom, she hates me, and my dad works all day G -nc- A D So I left Virginia and I ran away PERCY: D Wait, is that true? LUKE: D Everybody! Chorus: G D A D Oh, things couldn't be worse G D A D When your parents run the uniVerse G D A Bm Oh, things couldn’t be worse G D A D When your folks run the uniVerse LUKE: D -Spoken- Alright, who’s next? KATIE: D Oh! Okay, let me see… KATIE: G D My mom’s Demeter A D Goddess of grain G D A D She gets excited when it starts to rain G D A Bm But planting and planting and planting’s a pain E Oh no... ALL: E Oh no... G D Gb Bm Right! For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car G nc A D I got a fern in some dumb mason jar GROVER: E -Spoken- Bahahahaha! Ooh, ooh! My turn! A E I’m a child of Pan B E The god of the wild A E B E For those who love nature, they’re often beguiled A E B Dbm He’s not really my dad, but I’m sort of his child Gb Oh no... ALL: Gb Oh no... A E Ab Dbm He went for a hike to explore new frontiers A E B E And no one has seen him for thousands of years Chorus: A E B E Oh, things couldn't be worse A E B E When your parents run the uniVerse A E B Dbm Oh, things couldn’t be worse A E B E When your folks run the uniVerse PERCY: E -Spoken- Chiron! Who’s your dad? CHIRON: -nc- -Spoken-Oh, well… A E My father is Kronos A E Remember my lecture? B E He ate his children. LUKE: -nc- E -Spoken- Chiron wins… How about you, Silena? SILENA: A E The goddess of love B E My mom’s Aphrodite A E B E She tries to be cool, but mainly she’s flighty A E B Dbm I’ll bring home a boy, and she’s there in her nightie ALL: Gb Oh no!!! SILENA: Gb -Spoken- It's so embarrassing guys! A E Ab Dbm I tried to seek help from even the Fates A -nc- B E ‘Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates LUKE: F -Spoken- Alright, Percy, it’s your turn PERCY: -nc- If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche... LUKE: -nc- We’re all friends here. Come on, give it a shot. PERCY: -nc- Okay. Um… PERCY: Bb F My mom was named Sally C F She loved scary movies Bb F And food that was blue and… KATIE: -nc- -Spoken- He’s doing it wrong SILENA: -nc- Yeah, who’s your godly parent? PERCY: -nc- Oh, I don’t know LUKE: -nc- It’s alright. A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent. Just give it a try. PERCY: Bb F So, my dad is some god C F That’s great, I guess Bb F C F Did he not want me, or not want the stress? Bb F C Dm Too bad he’s the worst and my life is a mess! G Oh no... Bb F A Dm I hope that he shows even a trace Bb -nc- C F ‘Cause I’ve got some choice words to throw in his face! Chorus: Bb F C F Oh, things couldn't be worse Bb F C F When your parents run the uniVerse Bb F C Dm Oh, things couldn’t be worse LUKE: F Bb But I don't care where our parents may be C Dm As long as you are here with me ALL: F Bb We don't care where our parents may be C Dm As long as you are here with me F Bb C F As long as you are here with me!