Intro: G Bm I really was born at 9:29 AM on 9/29 D A You think I'm lying but I'm, I'm being dead serious Bm D A Okay, I'll prove it Verse: Bm Well, who am I? I'm almost 25 D A Can't remember half the time that I've been alive Bm 'Cause half was in a cheap apartment D A And half was on the Eastside -Eastside- Bm They said don't meet your heroes, they're all xxxxin' weirdos A And God knows that they were right Bm Because nobody loves you, they just try to xxxx you A Then put you on a feature on the B-Side Bm And who do you call when it's late at night? D A When the headlines just don't paint the picture right Bm When you look at yourself on a screen and say D A "Oh my God, there's no way that's me" Bm And I, I quit smoking, well recently, I tried D A And I bought another house, and I never go outside Bm And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit D A Well, she told me Bm She said, "Ashley, you gotta promise us that you won't die D A 'Cause we need you," and honestly, I think that she lied Bm And I remember the names of every single kid I've met D A But I forget half the people who I've gotten in bed Bm And I've stared at the sky in Milwaukee A And hoped that my father would finally call me Bm And it's just these things that I'm thinkin' for hours A And I'm pickin' my hair out in clumps in the shower Bm Lost the love of my life to an ivory powder D A But then I realize that I'm no higher power Bm That I wasn't in love then, and I'm still not now D A And I'm so happy I figured that out Bm I've got a long way to go until self-preservation A Think my moral compass is on a vacation Bm And I can't believe I still feed my xxxxing temptation A I'm still looking for my salvation Chorus: Bm A Soft and slow, watch the minutes go Bm D A Bm Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself D A Watch the minutes go Bm D A Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself Interlude: Bm A I think I have a confession to make, I feel like -So we know you don't- A I need to say that I was really born at 9:26 Bm D I saw my birth certificate, and I'm a liar A And I'm a xxxxing liar Outro: -nc- Soft and slow, watch the minutes go -nc- Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself
