Intro:
G                                 Bm
I really was born at 9:29 AM on 9/29
                                        D          A
You think I'm lying but I'm, I'm  being  dead serious
                   Bm    D    A
Okay, I'll prove it
 
Verse:
                    Bm
Well, who am I? I'm  almost 25
      D                           A
Can't remember half the time that I've been alive
                              Bm
'Cause half was in a cheap apartment
                    D               A
And half was on the Eastside -Eastside-
                                        Bm
They said don't meet your heroes, they're all xxxxin' weirdos
                                 A
And God knows that they were right
                               Bm
Because nobody loves you, they just try to xxxx you
     A
Then put you on a feature on the B-Side
                              Bm
And who do you call when it's late at night?
         D                              A
When the headlines just don't paint the picture right
                               Bm
When you look at yourself on a screen and say
        D                         A
"Oh my God, there's no way that's me"
                            Bm
And I, I quit smoking, well recently, I tried
      D                            A
And I bought another house, and I never go outside
                              Bm
And I remember this girl with pink hair in Detroit
       D         A
Well, she told me
                                        Bm
She said, "Ashley, you gotta promise us that you won't die
                         D           A
'Cause we need you," and honestly, I think that she lied
                                   Bm
And I remember the names of every single kid I've met
                      D                A
But I forget half the people who I've gotten in bed
                                  Bm
And I've stared at the sky in Milwaukee
                                           A
And hoped that my father would finally call me
                                     Bm
And it's just these things that I'm thinkin' for hours
        A
And I'm pickin' my hair out in clumps in the shower
                               Bm
Lost the love of my life to an ivory powder
           D                          A
But then I realize that I'm no higher power
                                    Bm
That I wasn't in love then, and I'm still not now
        D                       A
And I'm so happy I figured that out
                                 Bm
I've got a long way to go until self-preservation
                                A
Think my moral compass is on a vacation
                                    Bm
And I can't believe I still feed my xxxxing temptation
                             A
I'm still looking for my salvation
 
Chorus:
         Bm                      A
Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
          Bm          D                       A             Bm
Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself
          D       A
Watch the minutes go
          Bm          D                       A
Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself
 
Interlude:
  Bm                                                                A
I think I have a confession to make, I feel like -So we know you don't-
                                        A
I need to say that I was really born at 9:26
Bm                               D
I saw my birth certificate, and I'm a liar
A
And I'm a xxxxing liar
 
Outro:
-nc-
Soft and slow, watch the minutes go
-nc-
Count out loud, so we know you don't keep 'em for yourself