Verse 1: Dbm E A The old man next door says his house is haunted Ab Dbm He says a ghost keeps him awake E A I think he's having a hard time, to be honest Ab Dbm Since his darling passed away E But he fears that a phantom A Ab Dbm Has finally found him... some nemesis that never quit holding a grudge E A The old man next door says his house is haunted Ab It's best to be upfront with some tough love Chorus: A E I said Robert I'm so sorry B Your house ain't haunted Dbm B A You're just not used to bein' alone E B Robert all the creaks and shifts are just the sounds you missed Dbm B A When you shared your home Ab He says: no, no, no, no no no… Verse 2: Dbm E A I've had some close calls with falling items Ab Dbm I'm duckin' picture frames and dinner plates and all E A All my daily meds: I can never find 'em Ab Dbm They're put in places that I never would've done E A And the furniture shifts and it caused me to trip Ab Dbm I wake up with my pillow on my face every night E It sounds silly but this house is tryin' to kill me A Will you come see? Just stay with me? Ab Just stay with me one time? Chorus: A E I said Robert I'm so sorry B Your house ain't haunted Dbm B A You're just not used to bein' alone E B Robert all the shifts and creaks are just the signs of grief Dbm B A Now you're living on your own... Ab But okay, I'll go… Bridge: Dbm And I can't help but feel absurd because nothing B That I've heard from the downstairs room Dbm Ab Is of paranormal origin, it's 4 am, this poor old man is just confused A But wait Dbm I hear footsteps... on the stairs... Ab They're gettin' louder and louder... G#ove me... They're stomping A Ab I pray it's just Robert until I hear him scream my name -NEIGHBOR GUY!- Dbm And I go running up the stairs, jumping three at a time E And I'm fully unprepared for the terrors I will find A I burst into the room and by the light of the moon Ab Ab7 It's a ghost as real as both me and you Dbm And it wasn't the butler that he sacked without cause E Or that surly groundskeeper or that mafia boss A Or his old business partner that he stabbed in the back Ab Or the ghost of Christmas Future, Present or Past Dbm And it wasn't the guy from the mishap at the zoo E Or that other guy from the other mishap at the zoo A No, of all the spooky specters Robert wronged in his life Ab The ghost floating between us was his darling dead wife Chorus: And she said A E Robert, I'm so sorry B Didn't mean to scare you Dbm B A I'm just not used to bein' alone E B Robert, ya see, death's a one-way street Dbm B A And I can't find my way back home E B Robert, I figured I'd just come getcha Dbm B A I thought a haunting might do the trick E B Robert, I'm sorry, I thought it'd be easier Dbm B A Ab I don't remember you bein' this quick… Outro: Dbm E A The old house next door's got a sign out front now Ab Dbm a for sale sign tied to a post E A So, attention shoppers, you can make an offer Ab Dbm On a 2 bed, 2 bath and a Ghost
