Intro: D C G A A7 A7 Verse 1: D G A D G A Bm I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear E A G D when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes D G A D G A I guessed "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie? is it Bob or Joe or Walter? Bm E Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?" A A7 Bm I probably would have kept on guessing but about that time we crashed into the truck E7 A D Em G And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer A A7 who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me Chorus 1: D G A D G A Bm Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long E A A7 And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter D G A D Db Gbm Bm Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along E G A F G All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong Verse 2: D G A D G A Bm I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension E A G D and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Jamie Farr D G A D G A They sucked out my internal organs and they took some polaroids and said I was a darn good sport Bm E A A7 Bm As a way of saying thank you they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go E7 A D Em G And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time A A7 Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling Chorus 2: D G A D G A Bm Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long E A A7 And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter D G A D Db Gbm Bm Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along E G A D All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong Instrumental Interlude: Accordion Solo: G E Gb G A Saxophone Solo: Cm F G Am Bb Am Bb G C Guitar Solo: Dm Eb F Gb Am Bb G C A7 A7 -two strums- Verse 3: D G A D G A Bm I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty papercut E A G D And well, to make a long story short it got infected and I died D G A D G A So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates and it's obvious he doesn't like the Bm E A A7 Bm Nehru jacket that I'm wearing, he tells me that they've got a dress code, well E7 A D Em G He lets me into heaven anyway but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity A A7 And every day he runs by screaming Chorus 3: D G A D G A Bm Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long, and E A A7 Everything ya used to think was so important doesnt really matter anymore because the simple fact remains that D G A D Db Gbm Bm Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along E G A Bm Dbm G A D All you need to understand is, everything you know is wroooooooooooooooong, everything you know is wrong!
