C                 F
If i was as rich as you were mean
    G            C
I'd be a millionaire
   C                     F
If I was as careless as you were stubborn,
     G
I wouldn't have a care
   C                 F
If I was as holy as you were heartless,
    G              C 
I'd go down as a saint
   C                     F
If I was as handsome as you were funny...
      G                C 
Well it's too bad you ain't.

        F
If I had a good trade
                 C               G
For all of your bad traits
                         C
Oh what a happy girl I'd be
            F
Wouldn't it be great
              C       G         F
If I was as smart as you were fake
             G                C
I'd have a Nobel Prize and a PhD.


C                    F
If I was as jealous as you were crazy,
G                   C
I'd start turning green.
             F
I'd be a millionaire

If I was 
    G                C
As rich as you were mean.