Verse 1:
          Ebm      B
These are cattails
                Gb            Db
They’re just fairly common water reeds
                  Ebm    B
And they're not edible
      Gb                   Db
But don't you think they oughta be?
            Ebm                B
They got stalks and these groupings
     Gb                   Db
Of highly compressed seedlings
       Ebm                 B
That expand rapidly on impact
           Gb                    Db
So they're not that good for eating
  Db
But even so...
          Ebm  B
Me want bite
          Gb              Db
Me want plant corndog delight
            Ebm    B
Me want deep fried
           Db           Gb
Me think water twinkie nice

Verse 2:
        Ebm      B
This is sea foam
          Gb              Db
Shot with high-speed photography
             Ebm    B
And it's not edible
      Gb                  Db
But don't you think it oughta be?
          Ebm             B
It's just waste from sea crеatures
          Gb         Db
Shot at a very high rate
     Ebm                          B
It's practically just churnеd up fish poop
  Gb         Db
Ammonia and nitrates
  Db
But even still…
        Ebm   B
Me want eat
         Gb          Db
Me want tasty ocean treat
         Ebm      B
Me want spoonful
        Db                    Gb
Me want sweet cream from the beach

Verse 3:
        Ebm   B
This is lava
     Gb               Db
It's external molten rock, you see
             Ebm     B
And it's not edible
    Gb                  Db
But don't you think it ought to be?
          Ebm            B
It's just melted liquid minerals
         Gb               Db
That our bodies can't extinguish
        Ebm                   B
It can reach twelve hundred celsius
        Gb                Db
So you really shouldn't drink it
  Db
But even then…
                 Ebm      B
Me would like to partake
        Gb              Db
Of yon spicy smoothie lake
                       Ebm          B
Me would rather enjoy imbibing it
       Db                     Gb
Til me fire slush thirst is slaked