Intro -x2-: D Gbm Bm G D Can I say my xxxx? Gbm New York, Can I say my xxxx? Bm I've got lots of xxxx to say G I've got lots of xxxx to say -Ooh- -Spoken- D I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can. I have a huge amount of trouble Gbm Fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can, I can get my hand like four inches into the can Bm But then I have to tilt the can into my mouth Bm But then a bunch of crumbs have acxxxulated at the bottom of the can G So they all go spilling onto my face D What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small D I'll say it again Gbm The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small Bm If you feel me, put your hands up Come on! Bm If you feel me, put your hands up G Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of Pringle cans D Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can Gbm You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can -Spoken- Gbm Pringles! Bm Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get Bm Are about the width of your cans G Just make them wider. I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry D I want to have a daughter D Want to have a daughter -Spoken- Gbm So I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can Bm Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? G But that is priority número uno D I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body Gbm But I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym Bm Irony can be so painful G That's a Catch-22 -Ooh!- Let's do this! D I went to Chipotle D When at Chipotle Gbm Got myself a chicken burrito -Spoken- Bm I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line G The guy tried to wrap the burrito, but half of the xxxx inside the burrito spilled out G He still wrapped it G I was like, dude you should have warned me! D You're a burrito expert You should have told me halfway through! Gbm "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Gbm Do you think I want a messy burrito? Gbm No one wants a messy burrito Bm The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained Bm Within the confines of the tortilla G I wouldn't have gotten half of the xxxx if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look D I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit D I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got - Half of it Bm Like, I'm okay with small mistakes G If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork A D But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork D I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like Bm Half of it, like Bm Half of it, like Bm Half of it, like Bm G Half of it right now G I think it's time I G Think it's time, I think that we break it down Interlude: D Gbm Bm G -Spoken- D I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are Gbm Pringle cans, and burritos Bm The truth is, my biggest problem's you Bm I want to please you Bm But I want to stay true to myself G I want to give you the night out that you deserve G But I want to say what I think G And not care what you think about it D Part of me loves you D Part of me hates you Gbm Part of me needs you Gbm Part of me fears you Bm And I don't think that I can handle this right now Bm G Handle this right now G I don't think that I can handle this right now D I don't think that I can handle this right now D I don't think that I can handle this right now Gbm I don't think that I can handle this right now Gbm Look at them, they're just staring at me Bm G Like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health G And laugh as he attempts A D To give you what he cannot give himself D I don't think that I can handle this right now D I don't think that I can handle this right now Gbm They don't even know the half of this right now Gbm They don't even know the half of it Bm But I know I'm not a doctor G I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show A So I should probably just shut up and do my job D So here I go D I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit Gbm I wouldn't have got half Bm You can tell them anything if Bm G You just make it funny, make it rhyme G And if they still don't understand you G D Then you run it one more time D I don't think that I can handle this right now -Haa!- Gbm Handle this right -Hoo!- Gbm Handle this right Bm You don't even know the half of this right now Bm Right now -Haa!- G Handle this right now G Handle this right G D Handle this right now nc Thank you, good night! nc I hope you're happy
