Intro: -nc- It feels so good -nc- Oh that's my xxxx right there -nc- That's the ticket -nc- Give me the ticket -nc- Give it to me, baby Verse: Gmaj7 I'm too emotional Bm Good luck to my future wives Bm And their future lives without me -nc- You guys will do great! Gmaj7 Bm I'm sure that I've prepared you for every guy you'll date Gmaj7 And every guy you'll marry Bm And every guy you'll hate Gmaj7 It's the lullabies I sang out of tune Bm That's probably what did it Gmaj7 Bm Or my twin size mattress that I had since I was seven Gmaj7 Bm That we have to sleep on whenever she spends the night -nc- And if she falls off again, she'll find another guy to like Verse: Gmaj7 Bm We're just Romeo & Juliet Gmaj7 Bm But getting drunk and eating Percocets Gmaj7 But just to ease the stress Bm But soft what light, through yonder window breaks Gmaj7 -nc- It is the east, but Juliet just puked off the balcony Gmaj7 How romantic Bm Gmaj7 Nothing like getting drunk and getting manic -nc- On a motherxxxxing Monday, I Gmaj7 Bm I brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear Gmaj7 Bm As she describes in detail how the end is truly near Gmaj Bm Wow, and I'm sure that we can do this for forever Gmaj7 Bm Or until we drink the poison, 'cause she sees some cloudy weather Gmaj7 Bm As Rosaline, lies in bed, seething, wide awake Gmaj7 Bm Because a burning love for Juliet only took a day Verse: Gmaj7 Bm And if Romeo and Juliet continued to be married Gmaj7 Then there's half of a chance Bm That their kids would get embarrassed Gmaj7 Bm When all the kids at school all talk about their parents Gmaj7 And Romeo Jr. has to say they're not together Gmaj7 Bm And Junior will dream of the day when he's a man Gmaj7 Bm And what he'll do to avoid that fifty percent chance Gmaj7 Of his kids feeling the way he feels Gmaj7 Bm He'll probably just stick with the Netflix and chill Chorus: Gmaj7 Dear Shakespeare Bm Could you write a happy ending please? Gmaj7 Bm Could you write a happy ending please? Gmaj7 Bm We just deserve a happy ending please, please Verse: Gmaj7 Bm And every sting from every teardrop Gmaj7 Bm From every ring at every pawn shop Gmaj7 Bm I'm not missing both my Christmas' Gmaj7 Bm Though family would be nice Gmaj7 Bm In my dreams, my kids are happy Gmaj7 Bm And I know that they won't mind Bridge: Bm One Christmas Bm Just one Christmas Bm Just one Christmas Bm Just one Christmas Outro: -nc- But dear mom -nc- Conversations from a couch haven't ever felt the same -nc- Since you looked Dad in the eye -nc- And you told him that things are about to change -nc- My mom was made from Adam's rib -nc- And the marriaGmaj7e went south -nc- When the snake came back and asked my mother out to dinner -nc- And my dad found out, and asked my mom what that's about -nc- And she said "Oh, it's nothing" -nc- But dad loves to shout really loud -nc- Loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground -nc- In my memory, I can hear -nc- Chopin's nocturnes playing in the backGmaj7round -nc- a slow trainwreck, you'll close your eyes -nc- But forever hear the sound, and boy, it's tough -nc- 'Cause that's the sound of people falling out of love
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