Intro:
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It feels so good
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Oh that's my xxxx right there
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That's the ticket
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Give me the ticket
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Give it to me, baby

Verse:
          Gmaj7
I'm too emotional
                     Bm
Good luck to my future wives
                     Bm
And their future lives without me
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You guys will do great!
Gmaj7                                               Bm
I'm sure that I've prepared you for every guy you'll date
Gmaj7
And every guy you'll marry
                      Bm
And every guy you'll hate
Gmaj7
It's the lullabies I sang out of tune
                     Bm
That's probably what did it
Gmaj7                                                    Bm
Or my twin size mattress that I had since I was seven
Gmaj7                                                    Bm
That we have to sleep on whenever she spends the night
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And if she falls off again, she'll find another guy to like

Verse:
Gmaj7                            Bm
We're just Romeo & Juliet
Gmaj7                            Bm
But getting drunk and eating Percocets
Gmaj7
But just to ease the stress
                                                  Bm
But soft what light, through yonder window breaks
Gmaj7          -nc-
It is the east, but Juliet just puked off the balcony
Gmaj7
How romantic
             Bm      Gmaj7
Nothing like getting drunk and getting manic
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On a motherxxxxing Monday, I
Gmaj7                                       Bm
I brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear
Gmaj7                                       Bm
As she describes in detail how the end is truly near
Gmaj                                          Bm
Wow, and I'm sure that we can do this for forever
Gmaj7                                           Bm
Or until we drink the poison, 'cause she sees some cloudy weather
Gmaj7                                             Bm
As Rosaline, lies in bed, seething, wide awake
Gmaj7                                             Bm
Because a burning love for Juliet only took a day

Verse:
Gmaj7                                             Bm
And if Romeo and Juliet continued to be married
Gmaj7
Then there's half of a chance
                                    Bm
That their kids would get embarrassed
Gmaj7                                                  Bm
When all the kids at school all talk about their parents
Gmaj7
And Romeo Jr. has to say they're not together
Gmaj7                                             Bm
And Junior will dream of the day when he's a man
Gmaj7                                               Bm
And what he'll do to avoid that fifty percent chance
Gmaj7
Of his kids feeling the way he feels
Gmaj7                                             Bm
He'll probably just stick with the Netflix and chill

Chorus:
Gmaj7
Dear Shakespeare
                                      Bm
Could you write a happy ending please?
Gmaj7                                     Bm
Could you write a happy ending please?
Gmaj7                                     Bm
We just deserve a happy ending please, please

Verse:
Gmaj7                                Bm
And every sting from every teardrop
Gmaj7                                Bm
From every ring at every pawn shop
Gmaj7                                Bm
I'm not missing both my Christmas'
Gmaj7                       Bm
Though family would be nice
Gmaj7                       Bm
In my dreams, my kids are happy
Gmaj7                       Bm
And I know that they won't mind

Bridge:
Bm
One Christmas
Bm
Just one Christmas
Bm
Just one Christmas
Bm
Just one Christmas

Outro:
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But dear mom
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Conversations from a couch haven't ever felt the same
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Since you looked Dad in the eye
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And you told him that things are about to change
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My mom was made from Adam's rib
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And the marriaGmaj7e went south
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When the snake came back and asked my mother out to dinner
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And my dad found out, and asked my mom what that's about
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And she said "Oh, it's nothing"
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But dad loves to shout really loud
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Loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground
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In my memory, I can hear
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Chopin's nocturnes playing in the backGmaj7round
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a slow trainwreck, you'll close your eyes
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But forever hear the sound, and boy, it's tough
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'Cause that's the sound of people falling out of love