Verse 1:
                 B     Db
These are your good years.
      Abm        E
Don't take my advice.
          B          Db       Abm     E
You never wanted the nice boys anyway...
           B    Db
And I'm of good cheer.
         Abm                 E
'Cause I've been checking my list,
    B               Db          Abm
The gifts you're receiving from me,
     E
Will be...
E/G   Abm
One awkward silence.
E
And two hopes.
    E/G             Abm
You cry yourself to sleep,
           E
Staying up, waiting by the phone.
    E/G   Abm
And all I want this year,
E                           E/G             Abm
Is for you to dedicate your last breathe to me.
           E    Em
Before you bury yourself alive...

Chorus:
B F/B      E        Gb 
Don't come home for Christmas.
B          F/B          E
You're the last thing I wanna see.
Gb             B F/B E Gb
Underneath the tree.
E
Merry Christmas,
Em
I could care less.
(Repeat Intro Chords)

Verse 2:
B     Db        Abm
Happy New Years baby.
E
You owe me,
    B         Db     Abm       E
The best gift I will ever ask for.
B     Db      Abm       E
Don't call me up, when the snow comes down.
B        Db           Abm        E
It's the only thing I want this year.
E/G   Abm
One awkward silence.
E
And two hopes.
    E/G             Abm
You cry yourself to sleep,
           E
Staying up, waiting by the phone.
    E/G   Abm
And all I want this year,
E                           E/G             Abm
Is for you to dedicate your last breathe to me.
           E    Em
Before you bury yourself alive...

Chorus:
B F/B      E        Gb 
Don't come home for Christmas.
B          F/B          E
You're the last thing I wanna see.
Gb             B F/B E Gb
Underneath the tree.
E
Merry Christmas,
Em
I could care less.

Final Chorus:
C E/A      F        G 
Don't come home for Christmas.
C          E/A          F
You're the last thing I wanna see
G              C E/A F G
Underneath the tree.
Fmaj
Merry Christmas,
F
I could care less.  (x2)