Intro: A A G A G7 C
 
Chorus:
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D7     D7     G7
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D      G7     C
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
 
Instrumental: D G7 C
 
Verse 1:
C                                  F7
Well, I keep a little turtle at my uncle and my aunt's.
   D7                              G7
My Auntie's name is Myrtle, and my island turtle's name is Lance.
C                           F7
He doesn't wander far, even if he has a chance.
        D7                        G7
He just plays his ukulele, and he does the hula dance.
 
Chorus:
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D7     D7     G7
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D      G7     C
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
 
Instrumental: D G7 C
 
Verse 2:
C                            F7
He threw a luau barbecue one breezy summer night;
   D7                          F7              G7
Invited all his turtle pals to come and have a wiki bite.
C                                    F7
The turtles started walking there as Lance began to swing.
    D7                                 G7
The one that lived across the street arrived there in the Spring!
 
Chorus:
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D7     D7     G7
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D      G7     C
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
 
Bridge:
F
But Lance just kept on cooking,
       F7
He was grilling full of glee.
F      Bb                                 Bb7
He was marinating ribs 'cause he likes...
 
-spoken- ...uh, syrup with his feta cheese?
       F
-sung- Lance's purple turtle shell
    F7
Has ketchup, if you please.
Bb
Pineapples are shiny.
        G7
Spotted tiki bumblebees?!
 
Chorus:
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D7     D7     G7
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D      G7     C
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
 
Verse 3:
          C
There are luscious chocolate fingers
         F7
Spinning slowly in the school.
D7
Mele Kalikimaka.
G7
Fluffy bunnies driving in the pool.
C
A thousand igloos wax the beach,
      F7
Spray luggage in the tree.
D7
Raining puppies, flying clown,
G7
Tossing punahele--
 
Verse 4:
C
Lapoka sneezes coconuts,
F7
Tahiti yoyo leg.
D7
Wahini with spaghetti sauce,
G7
Don't make the fuzzy parrot beg.
C
Paper, plastic, porcupine,
F7
The horsey makes his bed.
D7                      G7
The humu humu nuku nuku apua'a wasn't fed.
 
Chorus:
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A                 D7     D7     G7
Lance the turtle, dance, dance, dance.
C                 E7
Lance the turtle, aloha, Lance.
A
Lance the turtle,
      D       G7
dance,  dance,  dance.
 
Outro: G C