Lower Your Expectations

Verse:
E
You want a guy that's sweet
               Dbm
a guy that's tough
Dbm                              A
a feminist who likes to pay for stuff
 
The kinda guy that gets along with your friends
          B
Without being attracted to any of them
E                                Dbm
a good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy
 
a half good half bad half boy
A
Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and
B
Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend
E                 A                 B        Dbm    A
Then you might think that this guy only exists in your mind
            E
Well guess what
B
You're right
 
Chorus:
E              Dbm   A
If you want love
B                    E        Dbm
Lower your expectations a few
              A                    B
Cause Prince Charming would never settle for you
    E       Dbm A
If you want love
B                   E
Just pick a guy and love him
Dbm                         A
And if he's got a thing for feet
             B
Say xxxx it, sweep me off them
 
Verse:
E
You want a girl that's nice
              Dbm
a girl that's not
Dbm                                     A
Obsessed with her looks but is insanely hot
 
The kinda girl that you can show to your folks
           B
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes
E                                     Dbm
a real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl
 
a brand new really hot real doll
A
Wants to impress you doesn't care if you notice
     B
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with
 

E              A                   E     B              Dbm   A
Then you might think that this girl only exists in your mind
E
She's real
         B
But last week

She died
 
Chorus:
E              Dbm  A
If you want love
B                           E Dbm
Lower your expectations a lot
                     A                 B
You might think your xxxx is a gift I promise it's not
E              Dbm  A
If you want love
B                      E
Just pick a girl and love her
                   Dbm
Then whip out your xxxx and let the
A             B
Girl you love decline the offer
 

A              E                         B
I don't want a neat freak I don't want a slob
B                                         A
Or  somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job
                 E           B
Cause I won't settle for less
B
Than perfect
A               E                   B
We want perfect children, a perfect life
B                             A
Perfect husband or a perfect wife
A   E            B
But deep down we know
         Dbm
We don't deserve it
 
Mute:
But
 
    E  Dbm      A
We all deserve love
B                     E              Dbm
Even on the days when we aren't our best
                A
Cause we all suck
                             B
But love can make us suck less
E      Dbm       A
We all deserve love
          B                 E      Dbm
It's the very best part of being alive
    A
And I would know
    B             E
I'm almost twenty five