Verse 1:
          D                              A
Well, I'm not too superstitious, but I knock on wood a lot
        Em7                         G
Prayin' I wake up tomorrow, get the guts to tell you off
       D                                    A
But I know I'll never get there, you could scream you wish me dead
               Em7                           G
But I'll crawl back to you tomorrow; why the hell can't I get mad?

Chorus:
    D                  A
Someday, won't this be funny?
                      Em7
Well, I want it funny now
            G
Man, I wanna laugh so loud
    D                  A
Someday, won't this be long ago?
                  Em7
I wanna feel that now

Chorus:
           G                  D
Sorry if I can't see how I'm screwed
                      A
But hey, what can you do?
                   Em7
I'm a touchy feely fool
              Bm             A                 D
I would give anything to not give a xxxx about you
               A
Life is pretty cruel
                   Em7
For a touchy feely fool
              Bm             A                  D
I would give anything to not give a xxxx, but I do

Instrumental: A | Em7 | Bm A D

Verse 2:
          D                             A
Well, I'm not too claustrophobic, but I lose my breath sometimes
      Em7                              G
Now I can't even talk to ya; now your lawyers talk to mine
          D                                A
Could you teach me to be ruthless? Could I be unfeeling too?
       Em7                             G
Maybe someday when I'm older, I'll be better off like you

Bridge:
                 D
I'm better off a stick; I'm better off a stone
                  A
I'm better off a jerk; I'm better off alone
               Em7
I'm better not feeling stress or feeling bliss
             G
I won't feel much; at least I won't be feelin' this

Chorus:
     D
I'm screwed
                      A
But hey, what can you do?
                   Em7
I'm a touchy feely fool
              Bm             A                 D
I would give anything to not give a xxxx about you
               A
Life is pretty cruel
                   Em7
For a touchy feely fool
              Bm             A                  D     A    Em7
I would give anything to not give a xxxx, but I do, I do, I do
             Bm              A
I would give anything to not give a xxxx

Chorus:
    D                  A
Someday, won't this be funny?
                      Em7
Well, I want it funny now
            G
Man, I wanna laugh so loud
    D                  A
Someday, won't this be long ago?
                  Em7
I wanna feel that now

Outro:
                G                D
I'm sorry if I can't see how someday…
    A        Em7        G
Someday, someday