Intro: G  D  Em  D  C  D

Em                    C                 G     D
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Em                   C            G                        D
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a xxxx
Em          C                       G            D
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Em           C                  G                   Bm      C
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a ******* creep


           Em       D      C
You're not going to heaven
                     Em             D               C
Why the xxxx did you think I'd ever kick it with you
                Em       D
None of you are going to heaven
C                  Em     D              C
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

Interlude: C  C  C

Em            D                      
You shouldn't abstain from rape just 
Em                      D            C
because you think that I want you to

Interlude: C  C  C

Em                                   D                    G
You shouldn't rape because rape is a xxxxed up thing to do

Interlude: G  D  Em  D  C  D
-It's pretty obvious just don't ******* **** people
I didn't think I had to write that one down for you.-


Em            C                      G        D
I don't think masturbation is obscene
Em              C               G        
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest 
                   D             Em
******* thing I've ever seen
            C                 G        D
You make my job a living hell
Em             C                 G
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
            D       C
Didn't that go well


           Em       D            C
You're not going to heaven
               Em              D            C
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
                Em       D            C
None of you are going to heaven
              Em               D                C
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims

Interlude: C  C  C

Em                         D                Em           D          C
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to

Interlude: C  C  C

Em                       D                           G
You can eat pork because why the xxxx would I give a xxxx

Interlude: G  D  Em  D  C  D
-I created the uniVerse you think I'm drawing 
the line at the ******* deliaisle?-


Em                C              G          D
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Em           C          G                     D       Em
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
     C                  G           D
Over what they think is true
Em         C              G                               D             C
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
            Em        D            C
You pray so badly for heaven
                Em         D            C
knowing any day may be the day that you die
                  Em             D           C
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
                         Em            D              C
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try

Interlude: C  C  C

C                     G          C                 D
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
             G     C         G        D
And when you earn it you won't need it


Em                 D                 Em            D       C
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to
Em                                D                  G
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you

Interlude: G  D  Em  D  C  D